In today’s post, I consider the matter of surrender to God through the lens of an excellent book I’m reading, Desiring God’s Will – Aligning Our Hearts with the Heart of God by David G. Benner. I hope you’ll enjoy several quotes and a few of my thoughts.

A couple weeks ago, I pulled a book from my office bookshelf that has been waiting for over two years to be read. I’m not sure why I waited so long because it’s by a favorite author, Dr. David Benner, a Christian psychologist, spiritual director, and prolific author. I guess the Spirit knew now was the right time for me to read it.

Desiring God’s Will is the third book in Benner’s trilogy. Surrender to Love, the first, is one of my all-time favorites, and The Gift of Being Yourself is an excellent read often used by spiritual life coaches and directors. Written in the early 2000’s, all are in paperback, but I don’t believe they are available as audio books.

I am not finished with this book, but in today’s post, I would like to unpack some of Dr. Benner’s excellent insights from Chapter three, Love and Will. (Note: According to AI overview, in a biblical context, "will" generally refers to a person's desire, choice, or intention.)

In previous chapters, the author noted that God’s kingdom is a kingdom of love. “It is love that softens will … . Love tempers all things, transforms all things. Without love, life is a cacophony of booming gongs and clashing cymbals (1 Corinthians 13:1) … . Without love, personality becomes turned in upon itself and is enslaved.”

There are deeply committed Christians who truly love God. They are firmly grounded in biblical knowledge and are faithful in practicing spiritual disciplines. They consider their body to be the temple of the Holy Spirit, eat healthily, exercise regularly, and never neglect preventive medical care. They are scrupulously honest and diligent in finances, jobs, and charitable giving. All good things. All admirable behaviors.

Yet, these same Christians may have aspects of their personality that are rigid, critical, and harsh. According to Benner, those characteristics emerge when love has not softened our souls. “Without love,” he explains, “will [or will power] becomes mechanical and loses its spontaneity. Without love, will becomes rationalistic and moralistic. Without love, will replaces imagination with industry. Without love, will makes us boringly predictable and devoid of vitality.” I certainly recognize areas of my own soul that have yet to be softened by God’s love.

I starred and underlined the following words in this book, noting in the margin that I wanted to be this type of Christian. “Love-shaped willing has a softness that teeth-gritting determination and discipline can never mimic. Love opens us up and makes us more alive, whereas determination makes us more closed and less vital. God wants to touch our heart with love, for if we genuinely allow divine access to our depths, obedience will flow out of us like water from an inner spring. This is discipline turned on its head—not the result of our effort but the fruit of God’s action in us.”

You, as I did, may be asking, “But aren’t spiritual disciplines vital in our growth?” I believe the answer to that question is a resounding YES! Benner explains. “Obviously, we sometimes need to start holy habits with determination. But we should never be content with staying there. The challenge is to allow our spiritual disciplines to become the fruit of love and desire, not merely guilt and obligation.”

I hope these thoughts and the liberal quotes I’ve used today will be encouraging—or at least food for thought!

Finding Joy in Desiring God’s Will

Church History Meets Vacation Memories

The Ways of God are Steadfast