Monday Moment When Grace Doesn’t Feel Like a Gift
The teachings in scripture are filled with lots of paradox. * Paradox is something that on the surface doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but upon deeper examination, causes one to exclaim, “Oh, I get it now!” I hope you’ll join me today to explore further …
One of the counterintuitive paradoxes I have discovered during my exploration of spiritual formation and in my training as a spiritual director is to view negative emotions, unwelcomed intrusions, and even my spiritual resistance as “friends” to help me grow in understanding God and learn to more accurately discern God’s will. I so appreciate the ancient teacher Ignatius of Loyola who reminded his followers, “All is gift; all is grace.”
Recently (09/24), I read a Facebook post from Lisa Harper. She discussed how God used the inconvenience of a delayed flight to remind her of an important spiritual truth, “… treasures tend to be more noticeable in the hard soil of disappointment and inconvenience.”
She called her experience a Divine Delay. I loved this, and it reminded me of a couple of my own “Divine D’s.”
Several years ago, I realized a movement would rise within me, which I eventually called Divine Discontentment. I started to notice and become curious about the restless sense I sometimes felt, often expressed by annoyance, dissatisfaction, or irritability.
In this spiritual learning process, I began to view my lack of serenity not as something to dismiss but rather to explore. Eventually, as I believe the Spirit enabled me to recall past experiences, I realized my restless spirit was in fact, a heads-up from the Sacred Spirit that something was about to change. Furthermore, I realized I could either accept the invitation to get on board and move forward or become like the children of Israel who resisted and ended up taking many laps around the desert.
I realized my discontentment was in fact a gift—a grace—from a loving God. In all honesty, though, I admit, the change God called me into was not always warmly embraced. It took a while, but I came to realize each change was divinely designed for my growth and wellbeing. Today, I tend to more often receive rather than resist a sense of discontent.
Another “Divine D” I have been reminded about recently is Divine Disappointment, which I’ve experienced when some of my most earnest prayers were not answered in ways I sincerely believed were best. Many of those unanswered prayers, now viewed in retrospect, assure me they were gifts of God’s grace.
When I became serious about learning to hear from God, I realized the “still small voice” of the Spirit often prompted me to do something that seemed small. I discovered that each time I responded a “small call” with a “small yes,” my faith kept growing.
Prayer is such a mysterious process. One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was “Pray as you can, not as you can’t.” I have no idea how prayer works, but I have a deep assurance that God knows each human heart and hears every single earnest prayer.
I pray these words will bless you in your journey,
*If you’d like to investigate biblical paradox further, please check out a few examples such as Matthew 20:16, Matthew 23:12, and 2 Corinthians 12:10.