What Love is Not …
Since February is known worldwide as the month of LOVE, I thought it would be a good idea to look at a portion of Scripture that is known as the Bible’s chapter of LOVE. In my last post, we reviewed what LOVE IS. Today, let’s look at what LOVE IS NOT.
Love is patient, love is kind. [Love] does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
Sometimes I’ve found the best way to define something is to contrast it with what that thing is not, which is exactly what the Apostle Paul did in his treatise on love found 1 Corinthians 13. The Bible’s “Love Chapter,” does quite a bit of contrasting, telling what love is not.
Verse 5-6a is the portion I’ll consider today.
Love does not dishonor others. While I know everyone doesn’t agree with what I consider to be dishonoring behaviors, I believe these are worth consideration: gossip; cliquish exclusions; distracted listening; verbal sarcasm; disdainful facial expressions; dismissive gestures; disparaging adjectives; and racism.
Love is not self-seeking. This one makes me say, “Ouch!” because often I am concerned more about the comfort and “rights” of myself, those I love, or those with whom my values most align. While I think I am becoming more self-aware these days and know I am growing in my capacity to love, I still find other words written by Paul uncomfortable, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3 (ESV)
Love is not easily angered. Anger is an interesting emotion, which I have addressed in my own process of spiritual formation. Controlled anger is a worthwhile emotion, but when expressed outwardly or repressed inwardly, anger often leads to hurt and harm. A valuable insight of anger is that it is a secondary emotion. Being willing to explore the primary emotion often reveals my anger arises out of fear, pain, or shame. Allowing God’s Spirit access to my anger results in freedom.
Finally, Love keeps no record of wrongs. Does this mean I must forget about harmful wrongs? No, I believe only God has that capability. Instead, I can examine the lens of offense through which I view those who have wronged me; choose to forgive; learn to set healthy boundaries; and take proactive healing steps. God’s justice and transforming grace will do the rest.
I close today with a prayer I wrote several years ago:
Lord of Light,
When darkness fills my soul;
When shadows from the past dim my senses;
When cares cloud my way,
Remind me to:
Grasp the hand of faith;
Step into the light of love; and
Allow You to lead me onto the best pathway
For Your glory and honor.
Amen
May your days be blessed with transformational love,
