What to Do With a Really Bad Day …
For no seemingly good reason, I had a really bad day recently during which negative emotions ran rampant in my soul. If you can relate, please read on …
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)
Human emotions are complex and incredibly layered. Because of the interior exploration I have done for many years, I found myself becoming curious about what was going on in my soul on this really bad day. Curiosity, I’m convinced, is a good thing!
Even though I don’t care much for prescriptive “steps,” I decided to pass on some with the prayer that God would use anything helpful and give you discernment to discard what doesn’t work.
Acknowledge and Permit: I once heard my friend, Anni, a compassionate loss and grief counselor say, “Sometimes, we just need to wallow in our exquisite grief.” At times it’s okay to simply “wallow,” to have a pity party.
Invite the Spirit’s Wisdom: Then, there comes the moment when we want to leave the party—even if only for a brief time--and return to our soul’s true home! That’s why, on my really bad day, I invited the Holy Spirit to show me what was going on within. Over the years, I’ve discovered this is a prayer the Spirit seems to enjoy answering. My recent experience was simply a “bad day” rather than a more complicated situation. Nevertheless, gaining divine insight and clarity is always beneficial.
Speak Truthfully to a Trusted Advisor: When my husband perceived something was askew and asked if I was okay, rather than dismissing him with, “I’m fine!” I told him I wasn’t doing well. I used an unattractive metaphor to describe how I felt and explained what I thought precipitated my funk. When my “let’s-get-it-fixed” husband tried to reason with me intellectually, I said, “that’s not helpful right now,” and he stopped. I spoke the truth, and Ron honored my “space.” Talking with an advisor who is trustworthy, caring, and respectful is helpful.
Honest Examination with a Loving God: Before bedtime, I concluded with a spiritual practice I do almost every night—an examination of my soul, which includes confessing to God the ways I’ve messed up during the day. I try to be honest and name the bottom-line behavior. I am confident God will never condemn and instead, always forgives me because that’s the very character of God. I have discovered so much freedom by simply confessing rather than trying to ignore, justify, excuse, or dismiss, how and where I miss the mark.
New Day, New Perspective: After a good night’s sleep, I returned to my morning routine of spiritual practices, which had been disrupted lately because of joyous but draining summertime activities. A new day dawned with fresh perspective and hope.
Negative Emotions are Helpful Friends to Move Us Forward: Discussing this later with my husband, he reminded me that the Apostle Paul said, “In your anger, do not sin.” (Ephesians 4:26). Emotions are simply emotions. There’s nothing wrong with feeling the negative emotion of anger. There’s nothing sinful in having a down day when I wallow or attend my very own “pity party.” The problem comes when I permit negative emotions such as anger to lash out at others or grow into destructive behaviors. When I coddle self-pity, it becomes problematic when I look outward, blaming someone or something rather than seeking God’s help in tending my own soul. Nursing emotional wounds, or permitting grievances to grow into self-absorption, unkindness, resentment, or bitterness does not benefit me or those I love and who care about me.
I will never lay out the welcome mat for a really bad day, but when I look at them in retrospect, I am grateful for the way in which God the Father, Son, and Spirit guide and teach me so graciously and patiently during such times!
Blessings to you as you allow God to grow you, even on your really bad day,
